Once you are more open to the possibility you can do yoga, ask your questions and listen to the answers, then decide.
Not bendy enough?
If you practice yoga, your flexibility will improve.
Not skinny enough?
It has nothing to do with looks, or your size or shape.
Don't speak Sanskrit?
You don't need to. Depending n the teacher they may not use Sanskrit names for poses - everyone has heard of 'downward dog' - does that sound Sanskrit to you?
Allergic to lycra?
I'm a man, I have no intention of wearing lycra. (Some men do, but it's not my thing) You can wear loose baggy clothing if you prefer that to tight clothing - anything that allows you to move freely, without any wardrobe malfunctions.
Oh, I didn't realise there was an age limit? Quick, someone tell me what it is - I may be too old? NOT! There is no age limit.
You are aware of Buddha-belly aren't you?
Because you can't touch your toes?
Yet. You can't touch your toes because you don't try to do that anymore - it's moved into the 'use it or lose it' bin.
Because you haven't done a hanstand since you were a kid?
Not every yoga style and every yoga class (or teacher) is working to a world where everyone can do the splits, or handstands or perfect backbends. Find a style/class/teacher that works for you, whatever style you practice, you will improve over time.
Worried that you might fart in class?
I'm not in control of your diet. you might - but you are unilkely to do it again if you do.
The thumbnail is the best way I have ever seen to sum up whether or not you can do yoga. (and I think it's really funny) :)